For God so...

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." - John 3:16

If you have ever gone to Sunday School or Vacation Bible School for any length of time, you probably memorized this verse. It is any good little church kid's bread and butter. By the time I was eleven I had been taught this verse so much that all meaning for me was totally eradicated. There is some truth to Psalm 119:11 "for I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you," but this verse wasn't just hidden in my heart, it was beaten into my skull. John 3:16 is a beautiful articulation of the awesomeness of God and everything He has done for us! But all I hear is "For God so loved... yada yada" because rote memorization kicks in after that. Maybe this is a personal problem and I just need to get over myself, but I think there is a bit of a problem with Sunday School teaching. Not just because of the over-touted and misquoted verses *cough* Jeremiah 29:11 and Philippians 4:13 *cough*, but there has been many times in the past year or so where I've thought to myself, "I never learned this in Sunday School." And I attended like every single sunday school growing up. But I digress. I'm not trying to be insubordinate and Sunday School is not what this blog post is about. Also I did learn a lot of good things there, and it doesn't really matter because we can't possibly learn everything we need to know in Sunday School.

(Btdubs, S/O to Roseann Nace who always brought us doughnuts, and I will never forget Josh Ollar's way of saying "spiritual")

So anyway, the word eternal here is interesting. I always thought it was talking about heaven. You know, with the resurrection of Christ we get to live forever with God. But Ecclesiastes gives a different perspective.

Ecclesiastes is a unique book in the Bible, because of the way 'the Preacher' writes. He acknowledges a God, but he doesn't say ever that God is Lord of his life. He goes about proving that all life is meaningless, but meaningless only apart from God. The book defends the life of faith in a generous God by pointing to the grimness of the alternative. Ecclesiastes has always been one of my favorites, and I think it's because I think similarly to the writer. Whenever I have doubts about God (as we fickle humans are wont to do) I can always counter them by realizing that if God isn't true - if my whole life is a lie - it doesn't really matter. If this world is all we have, at least believing in God makes me a better person. At the end of the day the world operates on morality, whether you believe in a higher power or not.

Throughout Ecclesiastes Solomon mentions that life is all a vanity*, and that what we are working for here, what we are toiling after, it will all just go to waste. It doesn't matter if you're good or bad because we all seem to get the same ending. Whatever you accomplished while on earth fades pretty quickly. So what Jesus doesn't mean by eternal in John 3:16 is that you're never going to die. Eternal means that by trusting in Jesus and walking with God daily, you will have an eternal purpose. When you have a faith in the unseen, your accomplishments will matter, and it WON'T all be a vanity.

Even though Sunday School didn't teach me a whole lot, I am still very grateful for the seeds it planted in my heart, because now I get to pursue a life-long relationship with my Lord and Savior.


*Vanity =frailty, nothing, nearest to zero, puff of wind, vapor, unreliability, emptiness, futility, no effect.

Why Do You Believe What You Believe?

Recently I've been really confused. A lot of questions have gone through my mind about Christianity and religion. You see, I want to know what's right. I need to make sure what I believe is the truth. What if what I've been believing my whole life is a lie?
It's hard being a Christian sometimes. It's difficult to give up your own sinful inclinations in order to become more Christ-like. So what if what the path I'm going down is the wrong way? What if all that has been for nothing? I still don't really know any clear answers, but let me take you through my reasonings why I believe what I believe.

1. God is real

First off, I know without a doubt that God is a real. I feel Him every day in whatever I am doing, and I know that I wouldn't be at the place I am at (emotionally, physically, relationally) without Him. Eternity has been set upon my heart, and I see the manifestations of that everyday in the wonder of the world. Even if He isn't real, and all I feel is simply neurotransmissions and chemical synapses, at the very least applying God to my worldview makes me a better person. (Check out Ecclesiastes for more on that)

2. Worshipping Go

Next is where it gets a little hazy. You see there are a few different religions that are all "monotheistic", and they all stem from Abraham. To list the major ones: Judaism, Islam, and Christianity. They mostly read the same Old Testament, but they differ when it comes to Jesus Christ and the New Testament. I won't pretend to know all about Judaism and Islam, but I do know that all 3 religions claim to worship the same God.

3. Jesus Christ

Now we've come to the tipping point. Even if they all believe in the same God, there are very different beliefs when it comes to Jesus.
The trinity (God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit) is at the center of Christianity. If you don't believe God exists as three, then you don't believe in Christianity. There may be people that say otherwise, but the Bible is pretty clear on that point.
So, the religions separate when it comes to Jesus and other prophets from God. C.S. Lewis describes it so well in his classic explanation of Jesus. And I can't help but think the same way.

"I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: I’m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept his claim to be God. That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic — on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg — or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse. You can shut him up for a fool, you can spit at him and kill him as a demon or you can fall at his feet and call him Lord and God, but let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about his being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to." - C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

I cannot come to any other conclusion than that Jesus was who he said he was - the Son of God. There are so many lives that have been transformed by Jesus. I can't help but believe that he is who says he is.

4. Unbelief

Finally, after thinking all these things through, and coming to conclusions, there are still doubts at the back of my mind. Still there are what-if's. So how can I go on from this? Well, I always come back to one of my favorite verses in the Bible. It comes in the story of Jesus healing a man's son who was possessed by demons. Jesus asked the man if he had faith enough for his son's healing, and the man replied, "I believe, help my unbelief!" (Mark 9:24)
The man believes, he knows that there is something there, but in the end he is only human and he needs help from the Lord God to be able to fully trust in the Lord God.
Faith is so beautiful in this aspect. We are to trust in what we know, but at the end of the day, we don't actually know. That last step is really scary, because it's a blind leap into the unknown. Maybe I'll be right and Jesus will catch me, or maybe I'll be wrong and plummet to my death. But that's what faith is, and that's why choose to believe why I believe.

Shalom To You

     If you've been alive for so long, are observant, or perform any basic google search, you will probably be aware of the word "Shalom". It's mostly used in Jewish culture, and is used in greeting or farewell. Once or twice someone has said it to me, but I never really thought much of the word.
     Recently, however I came across the word in Soul Keeping, by John Ortberg, and it gave me some interesting insights.
     First, the word itself means peace, wholeness, or happiness. But there's a bit more to it than that.
     As humans, God created us in His image, and we have different parts to us. Not like different appendages or organs, but our self's are separated in that each of us has a heart, will, mind, and soul.

"He answered, 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'". - Luke 10:27

We can think of each of these 4 aspects as a ring in a circle. The very center of the circle is our soul, with 3 rings outside of it. Right outside of the soul is the ring of the will. After that is the heart, and the outermost circle is the mind. The soul is the center, and is affected by the actions created by the reasonings and provocations of the 3 outer rings.

Heart:
Our heart represents our desires, our feelings, our emotions.
In the Old Testament times (before science as we know it today and autopsies and stuff) they believed that our mind was really in our heart. That the heart is where our thoughts and beliefs came from. And the word heart in the Old Testament can be translated as "the kernel of the nut".

Will:
Our will can also be thought of us our strength. It's what makes us do the things we don't want to do. As humans we often tend to think our will is much stronger than it actually is. Ever try NOT to eat that brownie or ice cream by sheer will-power? It's pretty hard.

Mind: 
Our mind is the place where our rational thought processes take place, the center of our logical thinking. The mind is most easily over-ridden by the heart and will. We know in our minds the amount of calories in that brownie and long-term effects of too many sweets, but our heart tells us how good it tastes. Our will caves to our heart much too easily.

Soul:
Our souls are our identity, they make up the very core of who we are. The signify what is eternal, what will last even after this word fades away. The Bible has a lot to say about souls and most of what it says signifies that our souls are things worth saving, and it is our souls that God loves. Not that He doesn't love the other parts of us, but in the end our souls are WHO WE ARE. They are the sum of the choices we make.

"What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?" - Matthew 16:26

"Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name." - Psalm 103:1

In our world there's a lot of stuff that revolves around ourselves. Our culture screams to satisfy yourself. It tells us to go chase our own dreams. gratiate and appease our desires. None of these things are really wrong, nor are they harming anyone else, but they are harming our souls. We have focused so much on our selves, that we forget about our souls. A healthy soul is able to have healthy relationships. A healthy soul is at peace, and is able to be quiet and still. I don't know about you, but in our world I see a lot of broken relationships and a lot of noise.

~~~

     When all of these aspects are in alignment, we feel good, at peace, healthy, and whole. When everything is connected and we make the right choices for the right reasons, we can feel the most connected to God. Those moments of cohesiveness can also be thought of as "Shalom."
     In the midst of our sin-filled, rebellious lives as humans, these moments of Shalom are few and far between. Paul talks in the Bible about knowing the right thing to do, and wanting to do it, but in the end his flesh is weak and he does what he does not want to do (Romans 7:15-19). This happens to me all the time. I know what is right and true and honorable, and in my soul I want to do those things, but it usually doesn't work out the way my soul wants. Ultimately through the power of Jesus we can overcome this and have everything aligned so that our souls are in a moment of Shalom. I think of these moments as little glimpses of heaven. Because in the Bible heaven is described as God dwelling with man, free of sin and everything else that hinders us. So heaven is one constant moment of Shalom: being continuously united with Jesus the Son and God the Father.
     So when someone wishes another person "Shalom" they are wishing that they not only have peace, but are seeking God's face and seeking oneness with Him. A beautiful sentiment, that I pass to you, reader!

Examining The Heart - Psalm 139

          I read an article by a man named Matt Moore on homosexuality and Christianity. (You can find it here). In an attempt to summarize all that he said, basically everyone sins sexually, and we shouldn't condemn the gay/homosexual community for their attraction to the same sex.

Here's some stuff the Bible says on the subject:

"Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's 

eye, but do not notice  the log that is in your 

own eye?" - Matthew 7:3

"Judge not, and you will not be judged, condemn not, 

and you will not be condemned, forgive not, and you 

will not be forgiven." - Luke 6:37

The Bible also conveys that everyone is equal in the sense that they are sinners, but sexual sin is a bit different because of the way it affects the person.

"Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits outside the body, but the sexually immoral 

person sins against his own body."

- 1 Corinthians 6:18

In other sins, for example lying or gossiping or tearing someone down with your words, the other person is the one that is hurt the most, or the sin affects you more on the surface. Sexual sin on the other hand is a deep, resounding pain that affects all parties very much below the surface. 

So how do we address this matter?

          I think we can all agree that the issue of sexuality is a big deal right now. The upstart and surge of the LGBT movement right now can be equated to the Civil Rights Movement of 60 years ago (which even continues today). First we have to recognize that people have a right and the freedom to do whatever they want, and someone can't force another person to do something just because they think it is right. Also it is imperative to realize that we are all equal in our sexual sin. I know that I have impure thoughts, and I long for an earthly relationship with a man, when I should be satisfied with a heavenly relationship with my Lord and King.

"But I say to you that everyone who looks at

a woman with lustful intent has already

committed adultery with her in his heart."

- Matthew 6:28

Hate to break it to ya, ladies, but I'm pretty sure this verse goes both ways. And even though I have never dated anyone, I still have sinned, because I forget to trust in God's purpose and perfect timing. 

          The biggest thing about the discord between the church and the gay community is that, for the most part, both sides of the argument find their identity in their position. Most homesexual/bisexual/etc. people literally identify with their sexuality. As most Christians find their identity in Christianity. There is a fine line, however, between Christianity and Jesus, because there is the whole issue about the Christian sub-culture of today that deserves it's own post. But anyway, we should be careful as disciples of Christ not to get caught up in that and be continuously measuring ourselves up to Jesus, and finding our identity in Him and not our religion. 

          So if people's identities are wrapped up in their discussions, it's extremely difficult to separate those and talk rationally. When a Christian says, "You're homosexuality is a wrong," the gay person feels attacked. When a gay says, "your religion makes me out to be like a leper or something," the Christian also feels attacked. 

          To be honest, I don't really know any homosexuals/bisexuals/etc. that well. I don't know what's it like to be judged for that or ostracized by friends and family. I can imagine, though. So as a disciple of Jesus Christ, I'm challenging myself to examine my own heart and work on my own sexual sins. I hope you will with me. 

Let Your Soul Rest

In our world, we don't know the meaning of rest. Our society has pushed rest to the side. We pile on our plates to the ceiling because a full life indicates that we are accomplished. A busy life shows the world we have it all together.

John Ortberg says it best in his book Soul Keeping that there's a difference between being busy and having a hurried soul. Being busy means you do a lot. You have a full schedule and many activities, but in the end busyness is an outward condition that is a reminder of how much you need God. But having a hurried soul means there is never an end to the doing. Being hurried means you are unable to be fully present and are often preoccupied. Hurriedness causes you to be unavailable to God, because God speaks to us in a still, small whisper. Don't believe me? Just ask Elijah.

"And he said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”" - 1 Kings 19:11-13

Lastly, having a hurried soul means you never experience true rest.

God knew what He was doing when He created us. He knows how we function. He knows that our souls desire rest. He created an entire day for it. But, like a lot of things, that day has been legalized and blown out of proportion. Resting doesn't necessarily mean vegging out on a couch or not using anything electric. Your soul desires rest in that it is constantly being attacked by the world, and you need a period of time to refill it. Resting could look different for anyone, but my soul is refilled most by reading or writing.

The American devotional author Lettie Cowman was visiting Africa one time, and touring around to different places. She had hired several guides and carriers and on their first day the group made a lot of progress, much to Lettie's satisfaction. On the second day, however, the group refused to move. Concerned and frustrated, Lettie asked the leader of those that she hired why they wouldn't continue on their journey. He told her that they had travelled to far too fast, and now they were waiting for their souls to catch up to their bodies. We have to rest every once in a while to let our souls catch up to our bodies. Where is your soul? Is it right beside you? Or is it years behind?

Why the Bible isn't your personal guide-book

So many times, whether in youth group, some bible study, or any gathering of believers, questions about ethics or situational problems arise, and the answer is always "Read your Bible." While this solution is not necessarily wrong in essence, it kind of skews the purpose of what the Bible is really there for. I know it gave me the impression that all the answers are hidden between the lines on the pages, and if I read hard enough I can figure out where God wants me to go. Or if there's a difficult situation I can figure out what God wants me to do. But that is not always the case.

The Bible is our measuring stick, our litmus test for the world. We use it as a lens to see through. And that lens can be one of many things. I was reading Jefferson Bethke's book It's Not What You Think and he put it so well that I'm just going to copy his examples.

1. The Sword of the Spirit

The Bible refers to itself as this, so of course it is not inherently wrong. And I'm not suggesting that any of these lenses are evil or twisted, just that the Bible is so much more than the box we sometimes put it in.

"And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit,

which is the word of God." Ephesians 6:17

"For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any

double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and

spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes

of the heart." Hebrews 4:12

"Do not think I have come to bring peace to this earth. I have

not come to bring peace, but a sword." Matthew 10:34

This is all well and good, but is dangerous to only see the Bible through this combatant lens. The fighter lens of the Bible is simply a facet of a much bigger picture. As many times as the word soldier is mentioned, bride or child is included twice as much.

The biggest part of Jesus's ministry was healing the sick, marginalized, and down-trodden. He didn't make it his primary goal to go around using The Word as a weapon by flinging bible verses at everyone. Indeed he had God's law written on his heart, as evident when he was responding to needling by the pharisees and the devil in the desert, but when he encountered hurting and desperate people he looked on them WITH LOVE.

2. A Personal Road Map

"When you view the Bible as your personal roadmap, you can't help but

create a God who is a blend of Santa Claus and the magic eight ball...

The world is revolving around you, and God is present as butler, not Lord."

- Jefferson Bethke

I've certainly viewed the Bible this way. The future is scary, unknown, and mystical. We cling to safety, rarely are willing to change, and prefer to remain comfortable. But following Jesus challenges ALL of that.

"If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and

take up his cross daily and follow me." Luke 9:23

Jesus's slogan while on earth was, "COME AND DIE." If that doesn't threaten our sense of security, I don't know what does.

So in order to obverse these scary feelings that come with being a Christian, we look for answers in the pages of the Bible. But God never promises us that. He promises that He will watch over us, stay by our side (even when we think we don't want Him there) and His love will remain steadfast. But He never promises that we'll know all the answers.

But that is the BEAUTY of trusting in our Lord and Savior! Why wouldn't you give your life to him? Why wouldn't you want the Creator of the universe to write your story? Besides, a life apart from God is meaningless, a chasing after the wind, all a vanity*.

Looking back on my life I have no idea how I got to where I am. I am applying to Physician Assistant school, something I never say myself doing. I've gotten to this point through a series of steps, each one a little higher than the last. I have found something that I have never been more passionate about, and I am thrilled and excited for the future that God already knows. I am expectant that God will use my story as a thread in the tapestry that is His Kingdom. Even if I don't know where that thread leads, or exactly what I'll be doing in five years, it doesn't matter because God takes care of his children.

"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or

 store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.

Are you not much more valuable than they?" Matthew 6:26

3. A Moral Compass

"The Bible is descriptive, not prescriptive."

Jefferson Bethke

The problem with looking to the Bible for any conundrum you find yourself in, is that it doesn't give you a right answer for every situation. The Bible isn't a list of do's and do not's. It is a STORY. A story about how much our Creator adored the world. A story about how an only son redeemed a sinful word. A story about how a broken world will be put back to its former glory and God and man will dwell together. How awesome is that? CanIgetanamen!

The Bible is chock-full of rape, murder, incest, and the like. In the midst of all that mess God inserts some moral codes. But the Bible is "mainly about how God relates to a broken and rebellious human race" (Jefferson Bethke).

I'm not saying we shouldn't follow the Ten Commandments. The moral codes that ARE listed in the Bible are all very good to follow. But humans are sinful. We are going to mess up at one point or another.

As a broken and rebellious human, I think I can appreciate a story more than a list of what I should or shouldn't do. The story offers Grace and Redemption and spotlights the good we can do in God's name, while a list just shows me all my shortcomings.

A lot of people skip over the Old Testament, or skim through it to get to the good stuff in the New Testament. But ALL of the Word is true and holy. Erasing the OT erases half of God's design for the world. Skimming over the genealogies skims over Jesus's birth line: the real people that brought a real person into the world who was also God that also saved humankind**.

The entirety of the Bible is a story, and all centered around Jesus. It has many facets, and we should be careful not to make one of those facets our entire worldview. Our human, sinful nature makes us inclined to think ourselves the hero of the story, but that's not the case. The Lord has graciously granted us parts in the story of the Kingdom of God, and it is up to Him how our stories will be written. What we do is desire to have true hearts - hearts that assimilate to His Will.

"Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of

your heart." Psalm 37:4

*I’ve been reading Ecclesiastes and recently looked up what the word the translation of the word vanity actually meant. Vanity: frailty, nothing, nearest to zero, puff of wind, vapor, unreliability, emptiness, futility, no effect.

**Honestly I still have a bit of trouble with this. If anyone has a good grasp on this concept of human but also God, either comment below or email me!

The Idol of Health

Now, wait a minute, how can health be an idol? Doesn't the Bible say we're to treat our bodies like temples, because the Holy Spirit dwells within us (1 Cor 3:16)? Doesn't it also say not to be gluttonous (Prov 23:20-21)? If we practice those things, are we not doing right by God? Well take a minute and read this, and let me know what you think:

I started reading the book Medicine as Ministry by Margaret Mohrmann because of a recommendation by another blogger. Mohrmann struck a very interesting point that I just had to grab hold of and expand upon.

As human beings we are all made to worship something. We all have this God-shaped hole in our hearts. We attempt to fill it with things that we think of as being good, like passions for our jobs, caring for our family, even our health. But if we fill that space with anything else than God we end up feeling empty and unsatisfied.

People that aren't religious might scoff at that and think that it doesn't apply to them, but I disagree with that. Show me a person who doesn't worship something and I'll show you a pig that flies. Worshiping doesn't entail shoving your nose into the ground and prostrating yourself before a higher being. Worshipping doesn't mean singing pretty songs or clapping your hands rhythmically. What worship means is that you place something at the center of your life and everything you do revolves around what you have designated as the nucleus of your existence, whether it was subconsciously or not.

Mohrmann made the comparison that our pursuit of longevity in life was similar to the Israelites at the base of Mt Sinai building a calf of gold. And in the practice of medicine many people idolize health, making sure their emotional and spiritual healths are consummate in order to prolong their physical health.

"Evidence of the idolatry of health in our society is clear, manifesting 

itself in our fickle, shifting obsessions with diet and exercise machines

and with jogging down every primrose path to perfect health, whether it 

is the path of vitamin C or brewer's yeast or no yeast at all or oat bran or 

whatever the latest 'cure du jour'. We have all been treated to, and have

perhaps participated in, the spectacle of reasonable, pragmatic citizens of 

the last half of the twentieth century fearing and finding carcinogens 

everywhere, in much the same way our ancestors feared and found demons 

and witches everywhere." 

Now I am certainly not saying that medicine is bad, nor is practicing a healthy lifestyle. But we must realize that using medicine and being healthy is not a means to an end, but rather they serve the purpose of keeping our current lives healthy and full so that we can better perform our Father's will. Healthiness looks different in everybody. And there are so many options that you can choose in order to live healthily.

In my own life I have fallen into the trap of idolizing health. After quitting soccer two years ago, I've had to do the whole fitness thing on my own. I thought that if I ate the magic foods, did the magic workouts, and looked a certain way, only then would I would find happiness. But happiness, true joy in life, is only found in God. I realize now that my darkest times of thinking in this contorted way was when I was farthest from God. When you have a good healthy relationship with your Lord and Savior, everything else will not necessarily fall into place, but you will be centered and purposed in the right direction. 

So, brothers and sisters, let us pray that we be knowledgeable and wary of the many idols in our world that threaten to come between our relationships with our Heavenly Father!

P.S. Another great book that talks about the idols in life that goes along with this same message is Gods at War, by Kyle Idleman.

Lezzbe honest, mkay?

     I just finished the book Scary Close, by Don Miller and I loved it. His main point was that the only way (or one of the only ways) to achieve real intimacy with someone in whatever relationship is to be open and honest. If you think about it, it makes total sense. If we go around presenting a front to the people we interact with because of insecurities, fears, or doubts, we essentially build a wall around ourselves. That wall inhibits growth, intimacy, joy, and fulfillment. Because at the end of the day (at least in my life) the only fulfillment I truly find is in my relationships with other people. 

     So let us pray to God to break down those walls so that we can build good, healthy, discipling relationships with each other. Let us pray that we would overcome our insecurities, realize we are all made perfect by Jesus' blood, and not one of us is better than another. Hopefully through doing this we can shine a light, and further His kingdom. 

     As Josh Garrels sings in his song, "Farther Along":

"Heaven filled me with more than enough

Broke down my levee and my bluff

Let the flood wash me."

Typical "Year in Review" Post

Now that the semester is over and I've had time to take a breath and actually think about something other than a Negishi coupling reaction, what hormones are secreted from the juxtaglomerular apparatus, or what the symptoms are from an infection of Mycoplasma pneumonia, I've done some reflecting. And besides the academic things I've lucubrated over this past semester, I've learned some other things. 

1. Dying to yourself is kind of hard.

            I’ve learned that basically everything in Christianity boils down to picking up your cross and following Jesus. Luke 9:23 and 24, “Then he said to them all: ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it.’” But actually getting up every day and saying, okay today I am going to die to myself is a difficult thing to do.

            Everything around us constantly screams to pleasure ourselves. Food, drink, relationships, do it all because you deserve it. YOLO, and all that jazz. And while we definitely only have one life, the greatest thing we can do is to take our only life and surrender it to Jesus.

2. I don't need to know everything.

I love learning, and I love being able to edify other people with the things I am learning. Knowledge is life, and it's what separates us from barbaric practices. But there are things that I may never learn about, and that has frustrated me. 

I think that as we grow in our faith dances, God teaches us different things. The minute we pray those words we are taught to pray and accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, we can't possibly be given all the knowledge we are meant to know throughout our life. Where would the growth be? That is what is so special about Christianity. As we grow, we constantly learn new things about God. He opens our eyes to what we couldn't see before, and that effect can be enchanting. 

But still, God doesn't want us, as humans, to know everything. Because HE is the One that is omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent. There are things in the Bible whose meaning will never be revealed to us. 

However, in that ignorance there may be a bit of bliss. He has revealed to us the important parts, to simply trust Him with your life. As I have mentioned before, the greatest call in the Bible is to die to yourself, take up your cross, and follow Jesus (Luke 9:23-24, Matthew 10:38, Romans 6:6-7). In doing so, we will have LIFE and FREEDOM. And everything will fall into place, because as we know so well, “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" (Matthew 6:26). 

3. Because I don't need to know everything, I don't need to worry about what God is doing.

On my campus this past year, there has been a lot of change and a lot of things not going too well. We chalked it up to being a “transition year” and left it at that, but in the back of my mind a constant thought was, what is God doing? I know without a shadow of a doubt that God does all things according to His perfect will, and nothing happens without a purpose, but I felt (and still feel) the need to know what that purpose is. What the end game to all of it is.

And I’m still working on it, but I’ve come to the realization that God’s perfect and holy will is not a thing that I need to ruminate over. I recently heard a sermon where the preacher told us about hurricanes. Hurricanes and tornadoes are mysterious and tragic things, and meteorologists and scientists are still working on figuring them out. So when a hurricane is headed to your home, you don’t stop and say, “Wait, we need to figure out all of its intricacies and the exact path this hurricane is going to take before we leave.” No, when a hurricane comes you pull tail and get out of there.

Just as we treat a hurricane, so we should treat God, the great and consummate Creator that crafted the hurricane. We don’t need to scrutinize the complexities of His will, we just need to obey His Word and what He has chosen to reveal to us.

I’ve learned many other things this past year, but these are the big ones. I love looking back on my life a year ago and just seeing what a different place I am in. I am excited to keep moving forward and keep discovering new things God wants me to learn, along the way pursuing the passions and dreams He has given me.

Adios amigos!

Psalm 50

Psalm 50:12-15

“¹²If I were hungry, I would not tell you,
    for the world and its fullness are mine. ¹³ Do I eat the flesh of bulls
    or drink the blood of goats? ¹⁴ Offer to God a sacrifice of thanksgiving,
    and perform your vows to the Most High, ¹⁵ and call upon me in the day of trouble;
    I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me.”

I love this passage for numerous reasons:

1)      God has some serious dry wit.

Exhibit A: “Do I eat the flesh of bulls or drink the blood of goats?” Like no, His being doesn’t require sustenance from mortal things that He created. He created us. He created the animals and plants that keep us alive. I’m assuming this passage is talking about the guilt and sin sacrifices/offerings the Israelites performed. So God is asking if we seriously think offering sacrifices to Him actually benefits Him in some way. No way Josè.  The guilt and sin sacrifices (and then the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior) our meant to benefit us. Us: the little puny humans whose lives aren’t more than mists in the wind (James 4:14). Us: the mortals who rely on God to give them strength (Psalm 28:7).

Exhibit B: Moses and the burning bush (Exodus 3)

Exhibit C: God’s reply to Job’s suffering (Job, chapters 38-42)

2)      We don’t need to DO anything

God doesn’t have to be appeased. God literally appeases Himself through His creation. We don’t have to earn salvation through good works. Ephesians 2:8-9 says, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— ⁹ not by works, so that no one can boast.” We don’t have to earn the approval of God. Thus…

3)      Everything we DO do should be in thanksgiving

Because we can’t earn God’s grace (it has already been freely given to us) we should thank the Lord by glorifying His name, which is ultimately what He requires us to do. And if He wants us to glorify His name, He will not lead us astray. Psalm 23:3 says, “He refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name's sake.”

Getting Something Out of It

Why do we feel the need to “get something out of” our time with God??? Either in a sermon, or from reading the Bible, we feel that we have to have this huge 'eureka!' moment. But I've been realizing that our relationship with God shouldn't be about that.

In Knowing God, by JI Packer, he talks about the Holy Spirit, and how we sometimes seek all the good feelings that the Spirit can afford us without first seeking a relationship with the Father.

“The cause of such troubles as we have described is a false, magical type of supernaturalism, which leads people to hanker after a transforming touch as from an electric, impersonal power that will make them feel wholly free form the burdens and bondages of living with themselves and other people. They believe that this is the essence of genuine spiritual experience. They think the work of the Spirit is to give them experiences that are like LSD trips. (How unhelpful it is when evangelists actually promise this, and when drug users equate their fantasies with religious experience! Will our age never learn to distinguish things that differ?) In fact, however, this quest for inward explosion rather than an inward communion shows deep misunderstanding of the Spirit’s ministry.”

I think we all realize that reading our Bibles will not be akin to an LSD trip, but we still long for feelings of affirmation and empowerment when we read the words and yearn for God to speak to us. The words in Leviticus recording the types of sacrifices to perform are not as likely to give those feelings as the words in the gospel of John describing Jesus’ life on earth. But God’s word is holy and perfect. Every word in the Bible is there for a reason.

In my opinion, when we read any part of the Bible, we are learning more about God and Who He Is – The I Am. Our relationship with Our Heavenly Father is a long process, one that takes our whole lives to complete. It’s a dance: sometimes fast and sometimes slow and sometimes in between. A dance that we don’t even realize we are growing in until we look up perhaps even months later. There are so many verses about seasons in the Bible. We can’t bloom and show fruit in every single season, or else we’ll quickly die out.

• Ecclesiastes 3:1 "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under the heaven."
• Psalms 1:3 "He is like a tree, planted by streams of water that yields fruit in its season..."
• Acts 1:7 "It is not for you to know times or seasons that the Father has fixed by His own authority."

Sometimes the Bible challenges us: we read a verse and maybe haven’t had the experiences in life to understand it until years later. The Bible can be just totally and utterly confusing, but only by prayer and continuously being conscious in putting God first may we learn what it means. Sometimes we do get an “AHA!” moment where everything falls into place. Sometimes a verse/chapter/book affirms us and keeps us on the right path. Sometimes a verse/chapter/book shatters our world and we have to choose whether to totally change directions. But every time we read the Bible, we are learning about God. And no matter what the feeling is we “get out of it”, be they large or small or none at all, we are still learning about the God we worship, and that is totally enough.

An Elephant's Faithful One Hundred Percent

I’ve been reading straight through the Bible since last January, and it has been an incredibly eye-opening experience. I never knew I didn’t know the stuff that I didn’t know. I’ve already read through the New Testament and am currently in the Psalms, so I only have a little more to go.

In Psalms 15, it talks about what a righteous man is; someone who is fit to dwell on God’s holy hill. And it mentions that a righteous man in someone “who swears to his own hurt and does not change” (v. 4). So what does that mean?

Someone who “swears to his own hurt” does what he says. He carries out what he has promised to do, even if it comes to his own harm. This makes me think of Horton the elephant, in Seussical The Musical. Horton promises a flighty bird that he’ll take care of her egg for an afternoon because she needs a break. The bird, Maizy, takes advantage of Horton’s good character and flies away with no intention of coming back. Horton still protects that egg even though he is faced with hunters, poachers, extreme weather, and then put in a circus to be gawked at. He maintains throughout the story that he won’t go back on his word, because, “I meant what I said and I said what I meant, an elephant’s faithful one hundred percent.” Even though he was ridiculed and ostracized for taking care of another bird’s egg, he kept his word. As a Christian, Jesus warns us in Matthew 10:16 “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be shrewd as snakes and innocent as doves.” There are people in this world that will take advantage of someone who keeps their word, so sometimes it is okay to say no. I think as we grow in wisdom in our dance with the Lord, it becomes easier to discern when we can truly help or when someone is just trying to take advantage of us.

In Matthew 14, King Herod gave an oath to Herodias’s daughter that she could have anything that she asked for. When she told him she wanted the head of John the Baptist, “the King was sorry, but because of his oaths and his guests he commanded it to be given” (v. 9). To his own hurt of having a fairly innocent man killed, Herod kept his word. In this instance, we must learn that it’s never a good idea to be so filled with lust that we promise anything to our cunning step-daughter.

But anyway, Horton is commendable because he swore to his own hurt and did not change. He didn’t waiver one bit once he set out to do what he promised. In Matthew 5:37 Jesus tells us, “Let what you say be simply, ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.” If I have to swear up and down to someone that I will indeed do what they ask, then somewhere along the way my character has become tainted. It can be a long process to get it back, but most certainly not impossible with God. And lastly, in James 5:12, “But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be “no”, so that you may not fall under condemnation.”

American Dream

I saw this picture as I was scrolling through Facebook, and honestly it made me want to vomit. An anxious feeling crept up from my toes, and I started getting nervous.
I was thinking, what if this is what actually happens in my life? What if this is all I ever achieve? And I could barely stand it the feelings of hopelessness and emptiness.
America has crippled a nation with the invention of a dream that allows people to be comfortable.
I don't want a normal house with a normal yard with normal kids that go to normal schools. I don't want normal neighbors that I wave to when I get the paper but never converse with. I don't want a normal life with a good steady job, and I don't want to never have to wonder if I'll be financially stable the next week. I don't want to be comfortable.
Maybe I'm crazy, but I don't want the "American Dream." I want to do so much more.
I want people to know who I am and the God I represent.
I want to depend on God to get me from day to day.
I don't care where I live, if I have a white-picket fence, 3 dogs, 5 turtles, or a Bengal tiger in my backyard.
I know that I want to do something. I want to help change the world. I honestly don't know what that looks like, or where I can do that to the best of my abilities, but I know that God has big plans for His people. And if I can be a part of that, all praise and glory be unto Him!

.

God's Goodness

God's goodness is a tricky concept. If God is good, and He is loving and kind, how does He allow bad things to happen?

First of all I will state that I do not know the full answer to this question. But I have been reading a book (Knowing God by JI Packer) that talks a lot about this concept. And while he answers some questions, he also leaves others kind of hanging in the air, but I have been able to get kind of a grasp on the concept of God's goodness.

• ·         Psalm 100:5 – “For the LORD is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations.”
• ·         Ps 136:1 – “Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever.”
• ·         1 Chronicles 16:34 – “O give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; For His lovingkindness is everlasting.”
• ·         Nahum 1:7 – “The LORD is good, A stronghold in the day of trouble, And He knows those who take refuge in Him.”

And I could go on and on with these examples. Just google “God’s goodness” and about a hundred verses will pop up.

So what does being good mean? To me it means that God is the culmination of every perfect thing. He is holy and perfectly encompasses every holy attribute wholly in Himself. And He doesn’t just keep those things to Himself – He is generous. He generously gives His love and affection, generously doles out mercy and grace.

~ ~ ~

God has to somehow hold His goodness to a standard. There is retribution and punishment for evil. If you were to spurn His generosity and His grace that He freely gives, that’s on you. That is your decision – you have cut yourself off from the Father’s goodness. And if you continuously spurn His teachings and commandments, and do not stick to goodness but instead cling to evil, there will be punishment for those choices. As Packer puts it – God’s wrath will be incited.

• ·         Jeremiah 18:6-10 – “’O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter has done?’ declares the Lord. ‘Behold, like the clay in the potter's hand, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel. 7 If at any time I declare concerning a nation or a kingdom, that I will pluck up and break down and destroy it, 8 and if that nation, concerning which I have spoken, turns from its evil, I will relent of the disaster that I intended to do to it. 9 And if at any time I declare concerning a nation or a kingdom that I will build and plant it, 10 and if it does evil in my sight, not listening to my voice, then I will relent of the good that I had intended to do to it.’ ”

So how can a loving God be able to possess wrath?

This is the part where I get a little confused. I think of wrath being exhibited by a mighty hand extending from the sky, perhaps with a lightning bolt or two, or the anger of a woman scorned (lol). 

But God possesses righteous wrath. He IS righteous wrath.

Righteous wrath is the punishment of wrongs. In order to be a good God, there must be a standard of good, and something to back that standard up. We are human beings, we are sinful. Sin is wrong in God’s eyes. Therefore since we are human we deserve punishment.

It’s almost like a reflex – wrong deserves punishment. But it is also not a reflex because God possesses mercy and grace that pardons us from the wrongs we committed – the embodiment of Jesus Christ.

~ ~ ~

Alright so God has to back up His goodness. What about bad things happening to good people? What about cancer, and plain suffering?

• John 9: 1-7 – “As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. 2 And his disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” 3 Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him. 4 We must work the works of him who sent me while it is day; night is coming, when no one can work. 5 As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.” 6 Having said these things, he spit on the ground and made mud with the saliva. Then he anointed the man's eyes with the mud 7 and said to him, “Go, wash in the pool of Siloam” (which means Sent). So he went and washed and came back seeing.”

So the bad things that happen to us, like cancer or blindness (or even diabetes – #holleratme), are not because of some wrong we may have committed. The things that we go through, the trials we persevere, are all for the glory of Him who commissions us. While we are on this earth and while we endure our sufferings, God’s works are being displayed, and what greater role than that can we play?

God loves all of His children more than we can comprehend. I think that His greatest desire is for us to draw closer to Him (side note: desire may not be the best word because God isn’t human and doesn’t necessarily possess human emotions, but I digress). If we were to live perfect lives and never go through anything, very few people would see the necessity of God, and very few people would want to draw close to Him. So, besides the fact that there is sin in this world and there is pain and suffering, God uses the strenuous circumstances to draw us and others closer to Him, and closer to each other.

• Isaiah 64:8 – “But now, O LORD, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand.”

When we go through trials and suffering, or experience the tribulations of someone close to us, God is simply shaping the relationship between us and Him. It may be arduous for both, but at the outcome, the relationship will be stronger. And strengthening your relationship with God is what Christianity is really all about. 

Ezra 9 - The OG

I like Ezra, he's a pretty cool dude. If he were still alive, we'd definitely be homies.

The book of Ezra (after the book of 2 Chronicles and before Nehemiah) is short and sweet. Israel has been through a lot at this point, and they have a period of good years. The Kings of Persia, rather than oppressing the Children of God, are on the Israelite's side and the Persian Kings are trying to get the city of Jerusalem rebuilt.

Ezra the prophet, "set his heart to study the Law of the Lord, and to do it and to teach His statutes and rules in Israel." He loved God's word, studied it, and wanted other people to know about it. Sounds like he was a passionate guy. But hold up here, there’s a wrench in the cogs becauase a bunch of Israelites have intermarried with the peoples of Canaan, the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Jebusites, the Ammonites, the Moabites, Egyptians, and Amorites.

Tangent: so this intermarriage thing is like superbad in God's eyes, and Ezra knows it. But what's the big deal about intermarriage? Why is that a sin? In my personal, very humble, opinion, it's not necessarily the intermarriage itself, but the morality of the act they committed with marrying other races.

You see, after the Israelites left Egypt, God gave them promises, and told them that they were His people and He would be with them wherever they went. He's pretty repetitive in stating that He is Lord, and to love Him they must follow His commands. He chose the Israelites to be His chosen people, and through that lineage came Jesus, who saved the entire world. The laws that God set for the Israelites in their wilderness wandering were (again only in my opinion) set so that the Israelites could be holy and set apart. Granted, the Israelites messed up, sometimes pretty badly. They were still far, far, far, far from perfect, but in the imperfections God demonstrates that we can be used by Him to carry out His perfect will. So this intermarriage that some of the Israelites were doing wasn't bad because they were marrying people of another race - it was bad because God had told them that they were His people and didn't want them to do that, but they did it anyway.

Off the tangent and back to Ezra. He realizes what's going on, and cries out to God. In His prayer to God, you can simply feel the love that he has for his people, and his desire to plead on their behalf. Also he wants the best for the Israelites, in that they’ll be able to know God and keep his commands.

Ezra 9:6-15:

“O my God, I am ashamed and blush to lift my face to you, my God, for our iniquities have risen higher than our heads, and our guilt has mounted up to the heavens. 7 From the days of our fathers to this day we have been in great guilt. And for our iniquities we, our kings, and our priests have been given into the hand of the kings of the lands, to the sword, to captivity, to plundering, and to utter shame, as it is today. 8 But now for a brief moment favor has been shown by the Lord our God, to leave us a remnant and to give us a secure hold within his holy place, that our God may brighten our eyes and grant us a little reviving in our slavery. 9 For we are slaves. Yet our God has not forsaken us in our slavery, but has extended to us his steadfast love before the kings of Persia, to grant us some reviving to set up the house of our God, to repair its ruins, and to give us protection in Judea and Jerusalem.

10 “And now, O our God, what shall we say after this? For we have forsaken your commandments, 11 which you commanded by your servants the prophets, saying, ‘The land that you are entering, to take possession of it, is a land impure with the impurity of the peoples of the lands, with their abominations that have filled it from end to end with their uncleanness. 12 Therefore do not give your daughters to their sons, neither take their daughters for your sons, and never seek their peace or prosperity, that you may be strong and eat the good of the land and leave it for an inheritance to your children forever.’ 13 And after all that has come upon us for our evil deeds and for our great guilt, seeing that you, our God, have punished us less than our iniquities deserved and have given us such a remnant as this, 14 shall we break your commandments again and intermarry with the peoples who practice these abominations? Would you not be angry with us until you consumed us, so that there should be no remnant, nor any to escape? 15 O Lord, the God of Israel, you are just, for we are left a remnant that has escaped, as it is today. Behold, we are before you in our guilt, for none can stand before you because of this.”

I don’t know if there’s necessarily a lesson we can learn from here, because the story ends with the transgressors sacrificing a ram for their guilt, and Jesus has since died for our sins and abolished the Old Covenant and established the New. But I think anyone can take a page from Ezra’s book (haha, punny) and strive to be passionate about God’s Word, and desire for the friends and family the same.

Judges 3 - The Left-Handed Benjamite

                This story is probably my most favorite story in the Bible. Scratch that, it’s my second favorite. Top favorite has to be when Jesus dies, takes the wrath for all of our sins, and then comes back from the dead so we can have ultimate freedom in life through Christ (say whaaaaat!? CanigetanAMEN! HollatyourboyJESUS).

                In Judges 3:12-30 the Israelites aren’t listening to God (what else is new), so Eglon the King of Moab oppressed them. Then the Israelites cried out to God (typical) and he sent them a deliverer, Ehud the Benjamite, a left-handed man. Now the Benjamites of Israel were notorious warriors, and if you were left-handed that meant you were even better. Because being left-handed meant you got the upper hand in battle (score one for lefties). Another advantage of being left-handed (so says the internet) is that when someone went into an audience with a king, his attendants would check for weapons. Usually a sword would be strapped to a person’s left thigh, but if a person was left-handed than a weapon might passed by unnoticed, especially if it was hid under clothing. (Sneaky, sneaky.) So this leftie, Ehud, went along with some Israelites to pay tribute to the evil King of Moab. It says in verse 17, “Now Eglon was a very fat man”, so I picture him to be very much like Jabba the Hutt, not only in stature but in character as well. Once the oppressed Israelites finish paying their dues and tributes, they go on their merry way, but Ehud the leftie doubles back and says he has a secret message for the king.

                At this the King of Moab/Eglon/Jabba rubs his greedy paws together and is like, “Hmmm a secret message?" His nostrils flare and dollar signs pop in into his pupils. So the king sends away all of his attendants. When Jabba and the Benjamite are the only two left in the room, the king asks the warrior, “What is this secret message?” Then Ehud the leftie musters all his courage and with a shout, “It is a message from God!” he whips out his sword and plunges it into Eglon’s belly. Verse 22 says it all, “And the hilt also went in after the blade, and the fat closed over the blade, for he did not pull the sword out of his belly; and the dung came out.” Ehud, being the cunning leftie that he is, escapes out the window to the land of Seirah, rallies the Israelites, and then they seize the land of Moab back for Israel. Meanwhile, King Eglon is still defecating in the room and his poor attendants are still waiting outside. Verse 25 continues, “They waited until they were embarrassed. But when he still did not open the doors of the roof chamber, they took the key and opened them, and there lay their lord dead on the floor.”

Lessons we can learn:

-        -  Don’t be Jabba the Hutt

-        -  Be left-handed

But on a serious note, although this story seems kind of silly, I think it just shows another example of God’s mercy and patience. It is another instance where the Israelites have turned from God to their own ways, yet He still listens and hears their cries when they run back, He still sends them a deliverer. And he does the same for you and for me.